Choices

As a way to prepare myself for life after the Lost finale on May 24^th I’ve started to look for a new show to “get into”.  The show that I’ve been following for six seasons will come to an end, probably leaving me with more questions than ever. It honestly will be a closing point to all the Lost parties I’ve been to over the years, a reminder of the season I missed when I was running a Young Life club the same night the show was on and how I would stay up till 4 a.m. waiting for it to post online, and an end to the discussions about the future of the show, and the spiritual images the show contains.

Outside of NBC’s Thursday comedy lineup, and It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia & South Park (programs a good Christian man shouldn’t watch anyway, but does because the writing/satire/social commentary is too great to pass for “moral” reasons) I didn’t really watch any dramas on a regular basis.  I don’t know what drew me to it, but recently I’ve stumbled upon ABC’s FlashForward.

For those who aren’t familiar with the program, the first episode showcased a mysterious event that cause everyone on the planet to simultaneously lose consciousness for 2 minutes and 17 seconds, during which people appear to see visions of their lives approximately six months into the future – a global “flashforward”.  FBI agents Mark Benford and Demetri Noh begin the process of determining what happened, why, and whether it will happen again.

The episode last week [two episodes ago, since an episode will air between the time I write this and the time it’s published] really got me thinking.  Demetri was trapped in a Saw-esque device that was set to shoot him if Bedford did not reach him in time.  The backdrop of the scene was a giant chalkboard that pinpointed one event, and dependant on how that situation played out, it could possibly lead to a number of different outcomes.  Those events had different forks leading to other possible events creating this giant map of how a single choice can affect the lives of not only the person in the situation, but the lives of everyone else around them.

It’s a modern take on the butterfly effect idea.  And that, combined with a conversation this week got me thinking:

I’m at a time in my life where the decisions I’m making now have greater meaning than they did, say 5 years ago.  For example, lets take the hot button issue of marriage and dive into it.  We can do this with any issues we’re facing, but this one seems fitting for a majority of my readers.

Lets start with this whopper:  A few months ago I decided to stop leading Young Life.  This pretty much means my life is going in a different direction compared to the people still involved with that mission.  My chances of dating and then marrying one of the gals still involved is slimmer now than it was before I left (which, I admit, was slim to begin with), but because I am not leading anymore, it opens up the door for me to begin to get to know another group of people on a more intimate level, opening up many new, and equally scary, doors when it comes to meeting a pursing a woman.

Also I’ve recently shifted paradigms when it comes to issues dealing with family.  I’m starting to rethink the “she’s cute and loves Jesus, therefore she’s perfect for me” mentality.  Personality types also come into play.  I’m naturally unorganized and all over the place.  If I date / marry someone with the same attributes, the bills might not ever get paid on time, the kids would never make it to school, and diner would never get made.  I’m not trying to pigeon hole my future wife into rolls she has to play, but rather acknowledging my shortcomings, and narrowing down the search to help me build the strongest family I can.  If I hadn’t made the choice to really try and live this mentality out, the direction of my life would be going in a different direction than it is now.

Other things effect this as well…  If I decide to go back to school next fall or not.  If I go to that one social gather or not… If I start a new job or not…  These choices, whether made deliberately or on a sub-conscious level affect the direction of my life’s path.  They effect the people I meet, the people I spend time with, and begin to narrow down the possible girls I can spend my time with.

But it isn’t just dating and marriage that are effected by this.  I mean, that decision, in and of itself, is just a major milestone in shifting the story of my life down a specific path.  5 years ago, choosing to go to college where I did was that major milestone.  Five years from now a new major decision might come out of the woodwork taking my life down another specific path. 

God has a plan for me.  God knows where my choices are leading me and I have faith that the decisions I am making in real time will only lead me to a path where He is glorified the most.  I don’t think He’ll have it any other way.  But I can’t see through the fourth dimension.  Time for you and me is linear.  Our lives are a series of actions and reactions that have significant impacts on our future. 

The cliché question is “if we could see 6 months into the future, would you want to?”

Of course I would.  It would be easy.  We as people want security in knowing our futures.  The majority of us would take comfort in knowing the direction our choices were taking us.  Again, it would be easy.

God didn’t design it that way.  He doesn’t reveal to us His full plan in one lump sum.  We may get glimpses through prophesy, but still, the full picture isn’t given.  We have to live life, in faith, that our God is a father who loves us, a daddy who cares about us, a papa who wants to bless us.  Our paths might be rough at some point, but that doesn’t mean our father isn’t there taking care of us.  Have faith in His goodness.  Have faith in his plan.  Have faith.